Did you know that the number of bathroom products sold last year increased by 87%? Well, I just made that up. But I feel like it’s a thing. Because your bathroom, especially your bathtub, is the single most relaxing place you can be your most laid-back, carefree, authentic, and disgusting self these days. It’s the most convenient happy place you can seek refuge in. And even though you want to spend as much time as possible in there, it gets boring and you want to diversify the things you do in the bathtub when you’re alone.
Standing under running water is relaxing as it is. Taking a bath is better than that. But it’s likely that you’ll get bored and you’ll want to reach out to your phone and take a couple of selfies. Before you know it, you’ll be inviting people into your sanctuary. That’s disrespectful to your privacy.
There is a lot of fun and relaxing things to do in the bathtub alone that doesn’t involve reading books or masturbating. Read on to check them out! And how the hell do people read books in the bathtub anyway?
First things first, get your post-bath clothing ready so that you have something comfy to slide into. Feathery slippers, a baggy bathrobe, and a nice hair towel should be waiting for you when you’re done.
Those accessories are necessary because they complete the ritual. They feel good and they look good. Make sure you’ve got those covered in advance.
Secondly, sitting in plain water is just as boring as drinking it. Spice it up like you’d spice up your drinking water. Only in this case, instead of cucumbers, try bubbles, bath salts, and bath bombs.
I shouldn’t have to tell you this but it’s not pampering if it’s not bubbly. Pour in some milk, throw in a couple of rose petals or orange slices, who gives a crap?
Create the ambiance.
Prepare a playlist of your all-time favorite songs. Stay away from the ones that have bad memories. You know what puts you in the mood, go for it. Just don’t pick one that’ll brainwash you into calling your ex. You can’t go wrong with Jazz.
Plus, lighting is everything! It’s not a bath unless you light a ton of scented candles. They’re important for creating an atmosphere of utter self-indulgence. If you’re out of those, try dimming the lights.
Put that fancy mask on.
You must have a high-end face mask you’ve been saving for a special occasion or something. The product is going to go bad if you keep doing that. Take it out and put it on your clean face.
Even if you don’t have something like that, find those Sephora samples you’ve been piling up and pick one. When you’re forced to look good, feel good, and smile at all times, your bathtub becomes your happiest place where you don’t have to fake anything.
Most of us can’t afford to go to the nearest fancy spa resort to unwind. Thankfully, we don’t have to. So, treat yourself with some fancy skincare, and don’t be stingy about it.
Get your beverages ready.
If you’re not going to drink now, then when are you going to? Pour yourself a glass of your favorite wine and don’t forget to take the bottle with you to the bathroom. God forbid, you don’t want to have to leave the bathroom to get it.
If it’s the weekend, why not try a fancy cocktail recipe? A nice buzz can help you relax and unwind. You can always try a cup of coffee or tea too.
Get your snacks.
“Snacks” is pretty relative. You say strawberries, I say burrito. It doesn’t really matter. But it’s always nice to have some comfort food by your side to nibble on. Slice some pineapple or get some nuts to go with your beer or prepare a cheese plate. Whatever floats your boat!
Watch a comedy show.
I’m not talking about Netflix or some show you watch to get a couple of laughs. I’m going to be very specific here. Life doesn’t get any better than watching It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia sitting in bubbles and eating pizza while sipping on Miller. This should be in your new year’s resolutions list, if not your bucket list.
Get a pep talk.
People have their best ideas in the bathroom. It’s a place of honest self-reflection. It’s also the place to get yourself amped up about stuff. You can do this with the help of a podcast about self-care, self-confidence, and gratitude. Use your phone or your laptop and make it loud!
Listening to motivational speeches is therapeutic. This TED Talk on gratitude by Louie Schwartzberg is a great way to remind yourself that whatever made you stressed enough to take a long bath is not the end of the world.
Talk to yourself.
If it’s okay to sing to yourself, then it’s okay to talk to yourself. Hear me out! Hearing yourself say things out loud is a great way to face the things you’re not happy with. When you’re alone in the bathtub and staring at the bubbles or the wall, the things that go through your mind are always your screw-ups.
You’re going to remember something you did a decade ago or something you did that day. And you’re going to analyze your every action that day and go through some dialogue that you wish went the other way. Enough with the self-pity. You can take this chance to give yourself a much-needed speech on how you can change things.
So, instead of taking BS from people all day and obsessing over it all night, start talking to yourself like you’d talk to a therapist. Give advice and help yourself out on how to react next time something like that happens.
Have an over-the-phone date night.
If you’re feeling charitable, send a sexy nude to him/her. If things get too boring, you can always invite someone over without inviting them over. As you’re already fresh as a daisy and wearing your best outfit (your birthday suit) and eating and drinking, facetime him/her. Create intimacy, get excited, and get them excited.
The best part is that you don’t have to spend hours getting ready for a date like this one. You’re in the bathtub as the ultimate tease, it doesn’t matter that you’re not wearing lipstick! Maybe take off the face mask before you call, though.
Things you do in the bathtub alone, besides scrubbing and actually getting clean, are the things that should fresh up your mind and body. Whatever you do, just stop bringing books into the bathtub. They’re completely impractical and only good for Instagram stories. And not for long, mind you.
Read Next: Fun things to do at home when you’re alone.