It’s an endless battle against gravity. It’s a blessing and a curse. Not to rub it in anyone’s face (no pun intended), but being gifted with big boobs can be one of the most empowering things a woman can experience as the rest of the world is going under the knife to get them. At the same time, living with big boobs is like having a never-growing toddler that you have to arrange your whole life around.
A toddler everyone loves to touch, and kiss, and smell, cuddle, play around and occasionally slap… On the flip side, you are the one that has to live with the monster when it refuses to stay put. It’s fun for everyone except you!
As much as it’s “hallelujah” when you’re trying on lingerie, it’s more like “kill me now” when you’re shopping for a funeral dress. You know what I’m talking about if you’ve never dared to free the nipple. You know you have them big if you’ve never been able to cry yourself to sleep facing the bed, or if you find crumbs of Cheetos between your boobs a little too often.
But hey, you bring life to the party, you give people something to look at and also something to talk about behind your back. Let them eat their hearts out. It’s not easy being you. Welcome to Boobilicious Anonymous, you’re safe here. Here are some tips to make living with big boobs easier.
Stop shopping online.
Shopping feels like a workout when you have to try one top after another for hours. The boobs get in the way of finding a decent top. It’s either the buttons or the cleavage or the fabric, there’s always something.
Shopping, when you have big boobs, is an art. And you can’t master that one online. Finding something that fits your upper body in the store is a challenge as it is, what makes you think that buying without trying is going to work?
I know that the size abnormality, that is your cup size, is something most brands are willing to overlook. But soon, women with big boobs will be the only customers left to buy stuff from the actual stores. At some point, they’re going to have to make stuff for us!
Invest in your bra.
If you’re shopping for bras as you shop for socks, you’re making a big mistake. Your bra does more than just cover up your boobs and it deserves more attention than that. Fast fashion brands only make bras for more common cup sizes. Their attempts to make something that would fit us is just a complete failure they can live with.
It’s expensive to find a bra that covers big boobs, doesn’t feel uncomfortable, and looks good too. But they are so worth it. They look great, but they’re also healthy. Besides the fact that you won’t have to pull and tug your bra every 10 minutes, you’re going to help your boobs maintain their shape as long as possible.
Plus, living with big boobs is painful. And the wrong bra choice is going to cause a lot of shoulder and back pain. Try lots of bras, take a lot of selfies while trying, and buy some quality bras. The selfies are irrelevant, they’re for you to keep.
Don’t kid yourself with a sports bra.
Yes, exercising is a challenge. Thank god for the women who invented the sports bra. But sadly, that solution doesn’t work for us D+ cups. Instead of wasting your money on a sports bra only to have your boobs jump up and down like they do on any other day, go ahead and wear your regular minimizer bra. It’s absolutely the same thing.
Consider doing pilates.
Back pain is real for women with big breasts. It becomes unbearable after 30. If you’ve noticed that your bra straps are coming off your shoulders a little too often, there’s a good chance your posture is changing. As the boobs pull you down, you’re inclined to slouch forward.
And before you know it, it’ll be how you walk and how you stand. It’s unhealthy as much as it’s unsightly. Pilates is one of the best exercises women with large breasts can take up. It’s not as uncomfortable as running and it helps a ton with your back pain.
Pilates improves your posture and tones up the whole body. Living with big boobs, exercise has to be a part of your life. And this type of exercise directly addresses the problems associated with having big boobs.
Choose the right cleavage.
When your friends wear that little black dress, they look so elegant and classy. But when you put it on, you end up looking like you’re about to hop on the stage for your first shift of the week at the strip club.
It’s hard to look sexy without looking too sexy. Cleavage is tricky for us, but there’s a ton of ways we can pull it off. V-necks are almost always too much. But if you want to show a little bit of skin without drawing too much attention, consider cowl-neck dresses.
Dresses with a Queen Anne neckline also look amazing as they contour the upper body and tighten everything up a bit. But hey, I’m not going to stop you if you want to blow everybody’s nips off with a V-neck!
Show off without showing off.
There are times you want to dress up for work to feel better. Don’t assume that you have to show cleavage to look sexy. On the contrary, sometimes, not showing at all is the best way to go. When your co-workers are going for cleavage or short skirts, do the opposite.
Tight tops and dresses are incredibly flattering for our bodies. They leave a lot to the imagination. Plus, you have enough enemies at work, leave some friends for when you need a ride or something.
Embrace the stretch marks.
The problem with stretch marks is that you don’t know you can have them until you do. And by the time they appear, it’s usually too late to do something about them. Stretching is inevitable.
It happens all over the body; your belly, your thighs, your arms, even the legs. If you’re living with big boobs, it’s more than normal to have them. Unfortunately, there is no getting rid of them. However, there are procedures you might want to consider just like Kim Kardashian did.
You can try laser treatments or micro-needling to improve their appearance. But know that they usually come with big boobs and a lot of women have them.
Stay away from racerback bras.
The weight distribution doesn’t work in your favor when you wear a racerback. Those bras may make your back look sexy, but the back pain is going to be unbearable.
They’re definitely out of the equation for daily use because it feels like you’re wearing a necklace made out of 2 huge bowling balls stacked on top of each other. Go for regular t-shirt bras for daily use.
Ease up on the layering.
When you’re layering in an attempt to make your boobs look smaller, you’re creating a flat surface on the chest with no definition whatsoever.
Making your boobs look like something else is not going to help you. Too much layering with too tight shirts is not flattering. You’re accentuating the boobs and not in a good way.
You have the stuff to push up, wear a push-up.
Growing up, you want your boobs to stay out of your face because of the uncomfortable feeling. But as you age, you want them as close to your face as possible. Women with small boobs don’t have to worry too much about sagging boobs, but we do.
I mean, you have to have something to push up and fight against gravity. The bigger the boobs, the more likely they are to sag. When that’s the case, don’t shy away from wearing a push-up bra. They’re going to smoosh the boobies together and ain’t no harm in that.
Don’t sleep with your bra on.
There’s nothing more uncomfortable than sleeping with your bra on while the wires are stabbing your rib cage. Wearing a bra while you’re sleeping has no benefit in terms of preventing them from sagging.
Either take it off and save yourself the misery or wear something super light. You can always sleep in a well-fitting tank top or a T-shirt if you don’t want them to be all over the place.
Maybe don’t free the nipple.
Unless that’s the look you’re going for, you might want to hang on to your bra if you don’t want to have your boobs jumping and hitting you in the face all day long. It looks sexy and it can be the best distraction tool, but it’s too uncomfortable to bear.
Be grateful for your big juicy boobs.
It counts as a charity when you wear a V-neck to the office party. You’re the only ex the new girl is worried about. It takes one button for you to completely eliminate the competition.
Don’t worry too much about how they look in this or that, or how you run out of deodorant too quickly because you use it for your boobies as well -they look amazing.
Again, living with big boobs is a lot like having a toddler. Once you have them, you can’t imagine life without them.
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